On the way back from Mexico Beach to Columbiana late this past Saturday afternoon, we stopped at a small service station somewhere between Troy and Montgomery to let everyone relieve themselves and grab a drink. As I was at the counter paying for our stuff, I noticed off to one side a box full of small bags that appeared to have white sand in them. Each bag had a cardboard label on the top which simply said "White Dirt."
"What is this," I asked the lady at the counter as I picked up a bag of it. It had the consistency of slightly wet clay.
"It's White Dirt. People eat it," said the lady.
"So it's like a sugar candy?"
"Naw, it's dirt, with like clay or something in it."
I wasn't really sure how to take this, so I set the bag back down in the box and finished paying. After I got back home of course, I immediately set out to find out more about it via Google.
Apparently White Dirt is just Kaolin sold in powdered form. It's pretty similar to what you'd find in Rolaids or Kaopectate. You can even order White Dirt online if you want to. Most of it seems to come from Georgia. I wonder why Wilfred never told us about it while he was living it up down there?
Monday, June 15, 2009
Blog Format
I'm playing around with the formatting of the blog. I like this one so far. I was getting tired of everything being squeezed into 640 pixels across. I've also relaxed the restrictions on the comments, so anything posted by Heff may be offensive, but what are you gonna do with your best friends? I visited one in the graveyard yesterday, so now I guess I'm feeling all sentimental, at least until the first time Anita or Cleetus show up.
Heff tells Hatch a secret about Wilfred and Big Bill.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Hatch The Mentalist
This past Wednesday night I was sitting on the pier in Mexico Beach, drinking a Steel 221 and helping the local fish by allowing them to gently eat shrimp off my hook at no danger to themselves.
Two young kids start talking to me while I'm sitting there fishing. They're about 8 or 9 years old and one is a real talker. Here's a sample of our conversation.
Kid: What bait are you using?
Hatch: Shrimp.
Kid: Did you try casting it further out?
Hatch: Yep.
Kid: Maybe you should just drop it straight down.
Hatch: I could try that. I don't want the fish to have to move around too much for the free shrimp, though.
Kid: Are they hitting it now?
Hatch: Nope.
Kid: What about now?
Hatch: Nope.
Kid: Wha..
Hatch: Nope.
The other kid, who was his cousin, was a little older and seemed to be horrified that his relative was talking so much and acting like a little kid. At some point they mentioned they were from South Carolina and the talkative one filled me in on all the important fishing going on there at their farm. Eventually they left and I returned to sipping my 221 and watching the end of the rod jump around as the fish below the pier enjoyed their shrimp buffet. It was an excellent evening.
The next night, I was walking down the pier to see how the fishing was going for my uncle Johnny, and about half way down I see the same two kids again, this time with a man who is obviously the talkative one's father. I gave a nod to the father and said "look at these South Carolina boys out on the pier tonight."
The man gave me an extremely startled look and quickly glanced down at his shirt and at the two boys before looking at me with wide eyes and saying "Are you a mentalist or something?"
Two young kids start talking to me while I'm sitting there fishing. They're about 8 or 9 years old and one is a real talker. Here's a sample of our conversation.
Kid: What bait are you using?
Hatch: Shrimp.
Kid: Did you try casting it further out?
Hatch: Yep.
Kid: Maybe you should just drop it straight down.
Hatch: I could try that. I don't want the fish to have to move around too much for the free shrimp, though.
Kid: Are they hitting it now?
Hatch: Nope.
Kid: What about now?
Hatch: Nope.
Kid: Wha..
Hatch: Nope.
The other kid, who was his cousin, was a little older and seemed to be horrified that his relative was talking so much and acting like a little kid. At some point they mentioned they were from South Carolina and the talkative one filled me in on all the important fishing going on there at their farm. Eventually they left and I returned to sipping my 221 and watching the end of the rod jump around as the fish below the pier enjoyed their shrimp buffet. It was an excellent evening.
The next night, I was walking down the pier to see how the fishing was going for my uncle Johnny, and about half way down I see the same two kids again, this time with a man who is obviously the talkative one's father. I gave a nod to the father and said "look at these South Carolina boys out on the pier tonight."
The man gave me an extremely startled look and quickly glanced down at his shirt and at the two boys before looking at me with wide eyes and saying "Are you a mentalist or something?"
Thursday, June 04, 2009
My Summer Vacation Reading List
Purchased this afternoon from Book Man/Book Woman in Hillsboro Village.
The Goblin Tower by L. Sprague de Camp
The Road to Damascus by John Ringo and Linda Evans
Stardrift by John Morissey
The Goblin Tower by L. Sprague de Camp
Continues a semi-tradition of reading Conan-esque books at the beach.
The Road to Damascus by John Ringo and Linda Evans
I'm pretty sure I read some Bolo books a long, long time ago. I think I even played a game based on it on my old Apple //e.
Stardrift by John Morissey
I just took a complete chance on this one since it was old (published 1973) and the blurb on the back caught my eye.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
How Badly?
This past Monday I went to the barbershop in Donelson at lunch where I've been going to get my hair cut for several years now. I've noticed over the years that some of the most interesting conversations often happen in barber shops. This isn't usually the case for me at this particular shop since my barber, Abe, is the only one there on Mondays and it's usually pretty slow. Still, Abe and I have had some great political discussions this past year since he's a die hard liberal and I am a Mojo Nixon Libertarian.
On Monday, however, there was already someone in the chair and another man was waiting. I walked in just ahead of an older lady, who appeared to be in her late sixties. She was a talker, and everyone in the shop was soon talking about the GM Bankruptcy, the Chrysler Bankruptcy, etc. Various other topics were discussed that I've already forgotten, but soon after I got in the chair the lady behind me started complaining about how "the kids today don't have a clue how to use adverbs correctly. They say 'I want that so bad' instead of 'I want that so badly.'"
While she was talking I quickly tried to think whether I tend to do this myself. Honestly, I don't know. I don't think I tend to leave the -ly off adverbs, at least in what I write, but when I talk to people I'm not sure.
Later in the day I saw the promo spot for the new Project Natal for the X-Box 360. Wow. If it works as well as its shown in these demos this looks like one of the most massive leaps forward in gaming technology I've ever seen. I want one bad. (Just making sure you were paying attention there.)
This led me to the idea that soon it wouldn't be a problem to use a small voice recognition device to record everything I say during the day, then perform real time analysis on it. So if the device heard me dropping the -ly off adverbs it could give me a small buzz. Or it could generate a running score each week so I could compare my grammar score with my friends.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not really one of those people that thinks it's horrible that people drop the suffix off their adverbs. Languages are meant to evolve and in this case I think it's probably too late to save the adverbs from being abused. I just find it very interesting to think about how technology is going to converge into real life in the near future.
On Monday, however, there was already someone in the chair and another man was waiting. I walked in just ahead of an older lady, who appeared to be in her late sixties. She was a talker, and everyone in the shop was soon talking about the GM Bankruptcy, the Chrysler Bankruptcy, etc. Various other topics were discussed that I've already forgotten, but soon after I got in the chair the lady behind me started complaining about how "the kids today don't have a clue how to use adverbs correctly. They say 'I want that so bad' instead of 'I want that so badly.'"
While she was talking I quickly tried to think whether I tend to do this myself. Honestly, I don't know. I don't think I tend to leave the -ly off adverbs, at least in what I write, but when I talk to people I'm not sure.
Later in the day I saw the promo spot for the new Project Natal for the X-Box 360. Wow. If it works as well as its shown in these demos this looks like one of the most massive leaps forward in gaming technology I've ever seen. I want one bad. (Just making sure you were paying attention there.)
This led me to the idea that soon it wouldn't be a problem to use a small voice recognition device to record everything I say during the day, then perform real time analysis on it. So if the device heard me dropping the -ly off adverbs it could give me a small buzz. Or it could generate a running score each week so I could compare my grammar score with my friends.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not really one of those people that thinks it's horrible that people drop the suffix off their adverbs. Languages are meant to evolve and in this case I think it's probably too late to save the adverbs from being abused. I just find it very interesting to think about how technology is going to converge into real life in the near future.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Ms. Mamie is Retiring
Back in 2000, my friend Dave Satterfield and I walked into City Cafe in Northport at about 4am for breakfast. It had been five years or so since I had eaten there, and several years for Dave. Both of us had eaten breakfast there several times a week when we were in college; me in the late 80's and Dave in the mid 90's.
As we walked in the door of the restaurant, Ms. Mamie looked at us, put her hands on her hips and exclaimed "where have you two been?" We sat down in a booth and she walked up with her pad in her hand and her huge smile.
She looked at Dave and said "two cheeseburgers, double fries." Dave just nodded in astonishment.
She looked at me and thought about it for a few seconds. "Three egg western omelet with extra biscuits."
At this point, both of us probably had our jaws open in amazement. This is not a sleepy little restaurant we're talking about. They probably feed a thousand people or more every day, so the fact that she remembered us from so long ago and what we liked to eat was just amazing. Ms. Mamie is just one of the many reasons that City Cafe will always be a special place for myself and many of my friends. I honestly don't think there's better Southern Food served anywhere else, and I judge all Meat and Threes by the City Cafe standard. So far none have made the grade.
Ms. Mamie left City Cafe several years ago, and now I've heard this week that she's retiring. I wish I could make it down there to help send her off, but life as usual is too busy for me to get away.
I was surprised to hear about the great sadness in her life that brought her to Northport and City Cafe just before I started attending the University and eating there. She never let it show or told us about it. She's one of those great Southern ladies that just carry on and don't let things get them down and never complain about anything. I love you Ms. Mamie and hope the rest of your life is filled with happiness and success.
As we walked in the door of the restaurant, Ms. Mamie looked at us, put her hands on her hips and exclaimed "where have you two been?" We sat down in a booth and she walked up with her pad in her hand and her huge smile.
She looked at Dave and said "two cheeseburgers, double fries." Dave just nodded in astonishment.
She looked at me and thought about it for a few seconds. "Three egg western omelet with extra biscuits."
At this point, both of us probably had our jaws open in amazement. This is not a sleepy little restaurant we're talking about. They probably feed a thousand people or more every day, so the fact that she remembered us from so long ago and what we liked to eat was just amazing. Ms. Mamie is just one of the many reasons that City Cafe will always be a special place for myself and many of my friends. I honestly don't think there's better Southern Food served anywhere else, and I judge all Meat and Threes by the City Cafe standard. So far none have made the grade.
Ms. Mamie left City Cafe several years ago, and now I've heard this week that she's retiring. I wish I could make it down there to help send her off, but life as usual is too busy for me to get away.
I was surprised to hear about the great sadness in her life that brought her to Northport and City Cafe just before I started attending the University and eating there. She never let it show or told us about it. She's one of those great Southern ladies that just carry on and don't let things get them down and never complain about anything. I love you Ms. Mamie and hope the rest of your life is filled with happiness and success.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Truth in Humor
How sad is it that the most sane and honest commentary on the financial situation is coming from a comedy show on a comedy network. Here's the latest example.
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