This email was waiting for me in my inbox this morning from and old college friend Nate:
So, I recently started some new medication that has me sleeping much deeper than normal, dreaming much more, and having much more vivid recollection of my dreams. Last night, Hatch made an appearance. Through some unlikely combination of factors, Hatch and I ended up at the same Middle/Jr. High school, waiting for our kids to return from some field trip. I first noticed Hatch, when I realized that he was lighting up a Winston in the library adjacent to the lobby area in which I was standing/waiting. At first I couldn't believe it, until I realized that the library WAS a designated smoking area for the school, and everyone else in there was smoking, too. For the record, Hatch appeared to be a svelte 175-180lbs in my dream. We ended up sitting there talking for a while, and then while one of the mothers there wasn't looking, Hatch stole a big bag of chocolate-covered peanuts out of one of the compartments of her baby stroller. I didn't think anything of this, and we continued to talk as Hatch snacked on his newly-stolen deliciousness. Eventually, a commotion ensued behind us, as the mother realized that her peanuts had gone missing. She immediately pegged us as the culprits, at which point I declared that I had no idea what she was talking about, and Hatch stuffed the remainder of the peanuts under a sofa cushion. Investigations began, and soon the peanuts were found in close proximity to Hatch, and the chase was on. It was like the first 20 mins or so of The Fugitive, except that it was Hatch in his spelunking gear, hauling ass through the woods, with an army of flashlight-wielding middle school moms and bloodhounds on his trail. I have no idea what eventually happened, because the sound of Karen's hair dryer coming on woke me up. Hope you made it to freedom, buddy. And I hope that you did some sort of "reach to the heavens through the rain" moment a la The Shawshank Redemption when you got there.
-Nate
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Top 10 Things Heff Didn't Accomplish During His Blog Break
Heff recently took a break from blogging after complaining he wasn't able to get enough done due to all the work maintaining a blog involved. Let's look at the Top 10 things Heff was NOT able to get done during his 4 month break, shall we?
10. Uncle Chris and Bamatrav protein samples still under the couch in the basement.
9. Three month supply of Rogaine is still stacked up in the closet.
8. Classic fastback Mustang is still rotting in the basement.
7. Read a book.
6. Workout regularly to get ripped.
5. Spend quality time with Hatch.
4. Get his Photoship 8.0 CE disk returned.
3. Keep Nana out of his flower bed.
2. Keep Bamatrav out of his waterbed.
And the #1 thing Heff didn't accomplish during his break from blogging:
Repairs to the back porch from Wilfred and Hatch walking around on it.
10. Uncle Chris and Bamatrav protein samples still under the couch in the basement.
9. Three month supply of Rogaine is still stacked up in the closet.
8. Classic fastback Mustang is still rotting in the basement.
7. Read a book.
6. Workout regularly to get ripped.
5. Spend quality time with Hatch.
4. Get his Photoship 8.0 CE disk returned.
3. Keep Nana out of his flower bed.
2. Keep Bamatrav out of his waterbed.
And the #1 thing Heff didn't accomplish during his break from blogging:
Repairs to the back porch from Wilfred and Hatch walking around on it.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Pushes
After work today I drove to the downtown YMCA. Parking was a bit of a pain, but I finally sneaked into a spot on the lower side of 10th Avenue. I was working "Pushes" tonight and since I'm just starting out again I'm doing light sets.
12x75 Bench, 12x80 Bench
10x50 Shoulder Press, 10x40 Shoulder Press
I'm going to do triceps presses tonight at home with dummies since the gym was crowded and I was in a hurry.
Next week I'll go up to 3 sets. I did "Pulls" last night at the Hermitage Y.
Then I did about 15 laps on the overhead, padded track, which was about 1.3 miles. That track is so nice I even did two "intervals". With new sneakers and the padded surface, it feels like you're just gliding around.
12x75 Bench, 12x80 Bench
10x50 Shoulder Press, 10x40 Shoulder Press
I'm going to do triceps presses tonight at home with dummies since the gym was crowded and I was in a hurry.
Next week I'll go up to 3 sets. I did "Pulls" last night at the Hermitage Y.
Then I did about 15 laps on the overhead, padded track, which was about 1.3 miles. That track is so nice I even did two "intervals". With new sneakers and the padded surface, it feels like you're just gliding around.
Friday, July 10, 2009
The Road to Jericho
At lunch I stopped at the local Racetrack to get some gas. I was using cash so I went inside. There were three people in front of me, and the first was an old lady buying scratch-off lottery cards. I have a bad attitude about lotteries in the first place, so it was especially frustrating to watch her buy 2 cards, pay with cash, wait for change, then pause for 10 seconds and decide to buy 2 more of another kind as well, pay with cash, wait for change, then I kid you not, repeat the entire process one last time.
She's finally out of the way, and the next person in line is a much younger woman with a European accent. She starts explaining to the cashier that she pulled her car up to get gas, but forgot that the gas cap was on the other side, and the hose won't reach. Apparently she coasted up, because now her car won't start.
The lady at the register, being the typical lady at the register at a cheap ass gas station, looks at her like she's crazy and says "well what you want me to do about it?"
"Do you have a can or something I can put a little gas in?"
"No. You can buy one of those gas cans on the shelf there."
"Can I borrow one for a minute?"
"No, but you can buy one!"
At this point I spoke up, loudly I might add, and said "she's not going to help you! I'll push the car back closer to the pump. Put me down for ten dollars on pump 8," and I threw my 10 dollar bill at her. Of course the cashier is looking at me like I'm the jackass at this point.
We walked out to the pump, and by this point there's a small crowd of women gathered around the car, asking if she found a bottle or something. I tried to pull the hose over the car, and it was lacking about a foot. So I had her put the car in neutral and shoved it backwards and "voila!" the problem was solved. I went back to my car, pumped my gas, and drove by to make sure she was OK on my way out.
I can understand having a crappy, low paying job, and feeling bad about it. I've had those jobs myself in the past, but I still didn't use it as an excuse to treat people like crap. I reserve that treatment for people like the cashier.
She's finally out of the way, and the next person in line is a much younger woman with a European accent. She starts explaining to the cashier that she pulled her car up to get gas, but forgot that the gas cap was on the other side, and the hose won't reach. Apparently she coasted up, because now her car won't start.
The lady at the register, being the typical lady at the register at a cheap ass gas station, looks at her like she's crazy and says "well what you want me to do about it?"
"Do you have a can or something I can put a little gas in?"
"No. You can buy one of those gas cans on the shelf there."
"Can I borrow one for a minute?"
"No, but you can buy one!"
At this point I spoke up, loudly I might add, and said "she's not going to help you! I'll push the car back closer to the pump. Put me down for ten dollars on pump 8," and I threw my 10 dollar bill at her. Of course the cashier is looking at me like I'm the jackass at this point.
We walked out to the pump, and by this point there's a small crowd of women gathered around the car, asking if she found a bottle or something. I tried to pull the hose over the car, and it was lacking about a foot. So I had her put the car in neutral and shoved it backwards and "voila!" the problem was solved. I went back to my car, pumped my gas, and drove by to make sure she was OK on my way out.
I can understand having a crappy, low paying job, and feeling bad about it. I've had those jobs myself in the past, but I still didn't use it as an excuse to treat people like crap. I reserve that treatment for people like the cashier.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Poker Night
So I played Texas Hold'em tonight for the first time since I stopped working in Atlanta about four years ago. It was hosted by songwriter extraordinaire Ashley Gorley and involved about 15 hairy apes sitting in his basement eating wings and slurping down Diet Pepsi's. This was tame poker since it was mostly people from church and Sunday school class.
I didn't get many cards going my way, and when I did I badly overplayed them. At one point I hit a straight on the flop and pushed in 500 on a pot that was about 200 at the time. Jimmy almost called it, but in the end it was too big of a push and he folded. That was pretty much the highlight of my night as far as hands go. I busted out on an A6, going all in just before the river card, looking for an Ace but Daniel on my right had a straight the whole time.
I didn't get many cards going my way, and when I did I badly overplayed them. At one point I hit a straight on the flop and pushed in 500 on a pot that was about 200 at the time. Jimmy almost called it, but in the end it was too big of a push and he folded. That was pretty much the highlight of my night as far as hands go. I busted out on an A6, going all in just before the river card, looking for an Ace but Daniel on my right had a straight the whole time.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Tuesday at the Waterfalls
Jack's been asking me to go fishing again since the last time we went. We were going to go on Monday, but he ended up going to visit some church friends with Marissa. I promised him we would go fishing yesterday morning when we woke up, so I got home about 5:30 yesterday and after a quick taco dinner we jumped in the car and drove to the dam.
Since I wasn't so rushed this time, I planned ahead a little and we parked on the west end of the dam at the greenway trail-head this time. That means the sun was setting behind us as we faced the water, which removed the squinting that made the last trip a bit annoying. It also made it a lot cooler since the embankment is steep enough that we were sitting in the shade, and the breeze off the lake and the water coming down the spillways made it probably 10 degrees cooler down there.
As we walked across the field between the parking lot and the river, I had my fishing pole and the sack with the worms in it in one hand, and Jack grabbed my other hand. I couldn't help it. I started whistling the theme from Andy Griffith. Jack even threw a rock in the water when we got down to it.
So we picked out a big rock right on the edge of the water and put a worm on the hook. Jack told me that he likes worms now, but he still doesn't want to touch one. After a few casts, I found a spot where they were hitting the bait pretty good, so we proceeded to feed several worms to them before we got one to finally stay on the hook.
I let Jack reel the first fish in, but the reel was just clicking the whole time, so I took over and managed to bring it in. It was a really big bream, longer than my hand and thicker than my hand too. My cheap Walmart pole was bent nearly double trying to pull it out of the water. I was going to throw it back, but a guy walking by with a bucket asked me if he could have it so I let him take it.
After that we quickly caught a much smaller bream. As I threw him back in the water, the hook with a little bit of worm left on it dipped down into the water in front of us. When I pulled it out, there was a really tiny bream attached to it. I guess it was hiding beneath the rock we were sitting on and made it's move when it saw the worm. It was about 2.5 inches long at the most. At that point Jack decided that he like the little fish better than the big fish. I have to admit that the first bream was a little scary looking.
As the sun started setting, the fish stopped biting. We sat there on the rock for a while though, watching the bobber drift along in the current. There was no traffic sounds, no cell phones ringing, and even the planes flying overhead were way off to the north so we couldn't hear them. The only sound was the water coming down from the spillways and a dog barking on the other side of the river while it was playing with another child. Jack started getting tired and put his head down on my lap and we sat there just watching the river flow by.
Since I wasn't so rushed this time, I planned ahead a little and we parked on the west end of the dam at the greenway trail-head this time. That means the sun was setting behind us as we faced the water, which removed the squinting that made the last trip a bit annoying. It also made it a lot cooler since the embankment is steep enough that we were sitting in the shade, and the breeze off the lake and the water coming down the spillways made it probably 10 degrees cooler down there.
As we walked across the field between the parking lot and the river, I had my fishing pole and the sack with the worms in it in one hand, and Jack grabbed my other hand. I couldn't help it. I started whistling the theme from Andy Griffith. Jack even threw a rock in the water when we got down to it.
So we picked out a big rock right on the edge of the water and put a worm on the hook. Jack told me that he likes worms now, but he still doesn't want to touch one. After a few casts, I found a spot where they were hitting the bait pretty good, so we proceeded to feed several worms to them before we got one to finally stay on the hook.
I let Jack reel the first fish in, but the reel was just clicking the whole time, so I took over and managed to bring it in. It was a really big bream, longer than my hand and thicker than my hand too. My cheap Walmart pole was bent nearly double trying to pull it out of the water. I was going to throw it back, but a guy walking by with a bucket asked me if he could have it so I let him take it.
After that we quickly caught a much smaller bream. As I threw him back in the water, the hook with a little bit of worm left on it dipped down into the water in front of us. When I pulled it out, there was a really tiny bream attached to it. I guess it was hiding beneath the rock we were sitting on and made it's move when it saw the worm. It was about 2.5 inches long at the most. At that point Jack decided that he like the little fish better than the big fish. I have to admit that the first bream was a little scary looking.
As the sun started setting, the fish stopped biting. We sat there on the rock for a while though, watching the bobber drift along in the current. There was no traffic sounds, no cell phones ringing, and even the planes flying overhead were way off to the north so we couldn't hear them. The only sound was the water coming down from the spillways and a dog barking on the other side of the river while it was playing with another child. Jack started getting tired and put his head down on my lap and we sat there just watching the river flow by.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Fishing : Day 2
We spent another afternoon at the Percy Priest dam fishing today after we went and bought a $12.00 rig at Walmart. I also bought a container of nightcrawlers after doing some research on the web about what to fish with on the Stones River.
They were definitely striking it a lot more today. I found a nice little spot where every time I let the bait drift through they'd start hitting it. They stole the worm about 10 times in a row before we finally got one on the hook.
Yep, we got our first fish! It was a bream that was a little smaller than my hand. We let it go and a few minutes later I got a small bass that had blue stripes between the gills and the eyes. A few minutes after that I caught a slightly larger bass that had more of a yellow color to him.
We moved on up closer to the dam and didn't catch anything after that, but it was a good day even thought it was really, really hot. Next time we're taking a cooler and more water.
They were definitely striking it a lot more today. I found a nice little spot where every time I let the bait drift through they'd start hitting it. They stole the worm about 10 times in a row before we finally got one on the hook.
Yep, we got our first fish! It was a bream that was a little smaller than my hand. We let it go and a few minutes later I got a small bass that had blue stripes between the gills and the eyes. A few minutes after that I caught a slightly larger bass that had more of a yellow color to him.
We moved on up closer to the dam and didn't catch anything after that, but it was a good day even thought it was really, really hot. Next time we're taking a cooler and more water.
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