Update on A Feast For Crows

George R.R. Martin has updated his website concerning the progress of A Feast For Crows. He's making progress but it looks like there may be a little ways to go on it. I'd rather he takes his time and gets it right myself, but apparently some of the rabid fanboys are getting antsy, at least according to Martin. Sounds like something that Paul Clemmons and the Evil Tennessee Tobacco Lobby would do.

Serenity Now!

The Official Website for the new Firefly movie has recently appeared. Not much to it yet, but the blog by a secret castmember is amusing.

Too Late for Heff?

Looks like I quit smoking at just the right time. It's been 1349 days since I last smoked a cigarette. I was 32 at the time, so according to the study I may have added 10 years or more to my life. Of course being a fatass is taking 10 years off I'm sure.

Gordian Knot?

Columbiana(AP) - In this small Alabama town in central Shelby County, local businessman and skullet wearer Jefferson "Bowels" Falkner is today still attempting to get his panties unwadded. For unknown reasons, Mr. Falkner found yesterday that his panties had mysteriously just "wadded up." "I had just finished talking to Hatch, one of my oldest and dearest friends," said Mr. Falkner. "I hung up the phone and then I ran to the bathroom, where I discovered, to my own horror, that not only was I mysteriously wearing panties, but that they were hopelessly wadded up."

Though emergency services were dispatched, Mr. Falkner refused their aid and continues today to attempt removal of the wadded panties. "If I could just get my butt-cheeks to unclench a little, I'm sure they'd come right off," Mr. Falkner was last heard to say.

Scamming the Scammers

Here's a great series of articles where someone plays along with various Nigerian Bank Scammers in a very humorous way. I may have to try this myself sometime.

Da, dum, dum, boom

Convicted hit man Jimmy "Big Shoes" McClardy confessed today that he was once hired to beat a man to death in a rice field by using only 2 small porcelain figures.

He went on to claim that this was the first known case of a knick knack patty whack.

I'm here all week folks, try the veal...

Foul Ball Jerk

I guess you'd have to be pretty stupid to ruin your reputation and be called a jerk by pretty much the whole nation, but a guy named Matt Starr seems to have risen to the occasion.

Blind Drunk Driving

I've been to Peachtree City, where this incident took place. It's odd to see so many golf carts everywhere. You even see them going over special bridges that cross the highway.

Darwin Award Candidate?

A reporter filming a story about a dangerous intersection walks into oncoming traffic.

At Leest They Admit There Stoopid

The National Spelling Bee was picketed by people protesting the complexity of the English language. I don't understand what's to picket about. There's no law saying you have to spell things correctly. I almost wonder if they were even serious or not. This is almost like a Monty Python sketch.

Heff and his Flaming PT Cruiser

Looks like my suspicions about Heff's vehicle have been confirmed. It's a flamer.

I Really, Really Want to Be There

Scaled Composites has set a launch date of June 21 for their first attempt at being the first private manned space launch. No word on whether this is also an attempt at claiming the X-Prize or not.

Update: According to the official press release, this is not an X-Prize attempt.

Where's My Certificate?

An interview with the always entertaining Gene Simmons, whose new album will be out soon.