Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Pissed Eagles

A Sports Illustrated writer has pretty much summed up my whole opinion nicely concerning the Auburn BCS controversy in a recent article. I didn't even realize that The Citadel was a Division 1aa school! You can't completely pad your schedule and expect to be taken seriously. Although I do think the SEC needs to seriously think about booting out some of the consistently crappy teams as well. I'd also have to say that Alabama needs to work on getting some better non-conference games scheduled as well. I still say the 1986 season when they played Ohio State, Notre Dame, and Penn State was one of the most ballsy schedules evar, even if it only turned out to be a so-so season.

The best thing about all this is that the Auburn fans know deep in the pit of their stomach that if Alabama was undefeated at this point they'd be ranked #1 or #2 just because they're Alabama. Auburn has too many years of being the little cow-college that couldn't behind them to overcome. They can line up their little triumphs like beating Alabama this year or being undefeated in Tuscaloosa, but until they line up 12 National Championships they're always going to sound whiney just like they do this year.

As the great Sam Kinison once said about the Russian Space Program, "you want to impress us? Go to the moon and bring back our flag!"

Thursday, November 18, 2004

New Distributed Project

If you've got a computer that you leave turned on most of the time and only do minor office work with, you should consider downloading and installing the World Community Grid software. I've been participating in distributed projects for about 6 years now, mostly with the Mersenne Prime project, where I'm still ranked #70 in the world for large number factoring. I've donated the equivalent of running a Pentium 90 for 131 years non-stop. This is your chance to get in on the ground floor of a new network that looks to be very promising for doing useful work.
Mombo Drive

Holy crap! 400 gigs of storage on one hard drive. I remember when I bought my first Intel computer about 12 years ago I splurged and got a 120 meg drive. A friend in Birmingham scoffed at me and kept saying how "you'll never use that much space." Now personally, I'd be hard pressed to fill up 400 gigs right now, although I'm sure my friend Heff could use it on his latest crusade to collect every video of Christi Canyon in existence.
Oh Give Me A Break

I finally watched the infamous introduction from this week's Monday Night Football that has everyone screaming about indecency. Let's face it, there was more skin shown in the Miss America pagent this year. Plus whoever the blond chick is, she's not really very attractive. Why didn't they use Teri Hatcher? Maybe we should all write to the FCC to complain about that.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Another Joke

(In response to Heff's joke...)

Heff, Hatch, and Butterworth journey into the jungle on an expedition to find the Lost Boobies of Paradise. Within a few days they are captured by cannibals and brought before the chief.

"You must journey into jungle. You must bring back 10 pieces of fruit. Now go!"

The three intrepid adventurers set off in different directions to finish their task. Butterworth comes back first with a handful of 10 apples.

"Now you must insert fruit into rectum without changing your expression in a test of confidence or we will kill and eat you."

Butterworth inserts the first 3 apples without changing expression, but on the 4th one he grimaces in pain. The cannibals quickly kill and eat him.

Hatch comes back with 10 grapes and is given the same task. He quickly inserts 9 grapes, but on the 10th grape he suddenly busts out in laughter. He is also quickly killed and eaten.

Butterworth and Hatch meet in the afterlife soon after Hatch's death.

"Dude, what happened," says Butterworth? "You were almost finished!"

"I couldn't help it," said Hatch. "I looked up and saw Heff coming back with 10 pineapples!"

Monday, November 08, 2004

Heff Blog

My friend Heff now has his blog up about small town life.
Rock and Roll Over that Bowl of Cheetos

Finally something for Heff to do with his old KISS albums.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Happy Birthday!

I want to wish a Happy Birthday to my lovely wife Marissa! She's celebrating the 2nd Anniversary of her 29th birthday today. Love you baby!

Just so I don't get an angry and tearful email, I also want to send out a birthday fart to my friend Heff, who is also celebrating another year of wasted life by turning 37 today. I'm only thankful that if either of us actually makes it to 40, Heff will go first.

Yesterday our friend Mok would have turned 37 as well, but he didn't.