Thursday, February 23, 2006

It's Not Too Late to Shave the Pate

Word is that there's an offer in the works for Heff to have the Skullet removed on a live webcast from the Shelby County Mullet Refuge. We here at the Blog of Hatch fully support this move and if you feel the same way feel free to sound off in the comments section. I'm sure Heff won't.

Top 10 Reasons Heff Should Shave the Pate

10. Thousands of dollars saved annually on Drain-O for the shower.
9. Can finally get that KISS tattoo on the back of his head.
8. Hatch and Butterworth have promised to buy him an official Paul Stanley wig if he does.
7. Less hair weight may finally let the PT Cruiser make it over the hill to Calera.
6. The S.C.M.R. is getting reduced federal funding and needs to save money to spend on younger, more viable mullets.
5. Makes him less recognizable to ex-girlfriends in surrounding cities.
4. Local squirrels will stop being confused and humping his leg.
3. Frees up advertising space for Wilfred's Trailer of Love Swag.
2. His Brokeback Mountain cowboy hat was getting a little tight.

1. Three Words : Freaky Hairless Fornication


TheHeffer said...

Hatch, I'm appointing you as treasurer of this operation. Collect one dollar from each potential viewer. One you've received enough Deniro for me to purchase a lifetime supply of headwax, IT'S ON.

Tachae said...

NO HEFF!! NO!!!!!!!

TheHeffer said...

Hatch - Start collecting contributions. Tachae said NO, so it MUST BE DONE !

Tachae said...

i smell a fight. a dirty dirty fight

TheHeffer said...

Ok. I suggest Jello wrestling, Tachae.