Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Hatch's Reading List

I started compiling the books I've read so far in 2006 on a separate page similar to my Wild Cave List. So far it's pretty pathetic, but time to read is a luxury around here. I'm in the middle of reading 4 or 5 books that I haven't put on the list yet, but compared to how much I used to read earlier in life, the list is very Heff-like in it's shortness.


TheHeffer said...

BUTT !!! I DO read.

Books Heff has read since 2004 :

"Lights, Camera, Sex !" By Christy Canyon

"Private Parts" by Howard Stern

"Kiss and Makeup" by Gene Simmons


"How to enlarge your Penis using safe exercise techniques" by Sir Longfellow Wadsworth.

Anita Dick said...

101 Fun Things To Do
(Besides Having Sex)

1. Go to the porn movies with your friends/family.

2. Go shopping at the mall for sex toys with your friends.

3. Have a naked picnic with your friends at a local park or in your backyard.

4. Have an 80's porn movie marathon. Rent as many 80's movies as you can find and watch them all weekend. Do the same thing for other decades.

5. Make a nude scrapbook.

6. Make a collage that represents sed or another topic you enjoy. Include magazine and newspaper clippings, photographs, ticket stubs, etc.

7. Have a naked potluck dinner. Assign a food category to each of your friends and set a date.

8. Read a erotic book or magazine.

9. Play a erotic game of flag or touch football.

10. Play erotic capture the flag.

11. Make a erotic home movie with your parents' video camera.

12. Paint a nude picture.

13. Go on a naked scavenger hunt in your neighborhood.

14. Go to a sporting event for your school....naked.

15. Start a pubic hair collection.

16. Play a game of ultimate naked Frisbee.

17. Go swimming....nude.

18. Make a sex CD or tape.

19. Organize a naked bake sale or car wash in your neighborhood and donate the proceeds to a school or community project.

20. Play card games, dominoes, or do a puzzle while sitting naked on ice.

21. Plan and make a meal for your family, naked if desired.

22. Make your own butt naked waterslide. Put a plastic tarp down on the grass and wet it down with a water hose. Keep the hose running as you and your friends run and slide on it.

23. Fly a kite in your backyard or at a local park.

24. Create your own street-hockey team or play for fun.

25. Talk on the phone.

26. Ride your bike. Try to find new trails.

27. Write poetry or short stories.

28. Build a clubhouse in your backyard where you can hang out with your friends.

29. Make homemade cookies.

30. Go on a photography hunt and find interesting themes to shoot.

31. Exercise. Try new exercise routines with your friends, such as yoga or Pilates.

32. Rent a canoe or paddle boat.

33. Go to a concert.

34. Start your own band.

35. Get a part-time job.

36. Go out to eat at a local restaurant.

37. Go to an ice cream shop with your friends.

38. Go star-gazing.

39. Go see a play at your local theater or a school production.

40. Participate in after-school activities, such as the drama club, football, basketball, community service clubs, student council, cheerleading, etc.

41. Go to a museum.

42. Go to the zoo.

43. Volunteer at the local animal shelter, hospital, nursing home or another place that interests you.

44. Plant your own garden or terrarium.

45. Make a time capsule with all your friends with notes and objects you want to remember this time in history. Set a date to open it far in the future.

46. Design and make your own T-shirts.

47. Go horseback riding.

48. Go rock climbing or hiking.

49. Go to an amusement or water park.

50. Have dinner outside while watching the sunset. You can make dinner or pick up some fast food.

51. Groom your pet then take it to the park to it show off.

52. Play paintball.

53. Go to the beach or lake.

54. Play computer/video games.

55. Take a nap.

56. Play laser tag.

57. Play miniature golf.

58. Ride go-carts.

59. Go bowling.

60. Study for SATs.

61. Go to a flea market to search for cool stuff.

62. Order a pizza and rent a movie with your friends.

63. Attend a professional sporting event.

64. Go ice-skating.

65. Visit public gardens.

66. Play board games with your little brother or sister or with your friends.

67. Learn how to play a musical instrument.

68. Take your kid sisters or brothers to the playground or circus.

69. Visit the historical sites of your city.

70. Start a recycling program in your school/community.

71. Have a poker party. Use chips, candy and pretzels instead of money.

72. Make a music video.

73. Make a present for your boyfriend or girlfriend.

74. Make a quilt out of your old T-shirts and blankets.

75. Have a cartoon marathon.

76. Go roller-skating or roller-blading at the local skating rink or around the neighborhood.

77. Go to the batting cages or play baseball in a local park.

78. Take a blanket and some snacks to a park and look at cloud formations in the sky.

79. Listen to music/sing.

80. Start a daily journal.

81. Put together a play production with your friends.

82. Roast marshmallows.

83. Play catch with water balloons in the yard or have a water balloon fight.

84. Visit your family.

85. Do a puzzle. Glue the pieces together and frame it.

86. Organize a garage sale with your friends. Donate the proceeds to a local charity or throw a party.

87. Build your own website.

88. Go fishing.

89. Surf the Internet.

90. Take dance lessons. Learn how to swing dance, waltz, salsa, etc.

91. Organize a day to pick up litter in your neighborhood and in the community.

92. Go to the library.

93. Study something new.

94. Write a letter.

95. Rearrange your room.

96. Clean out the basement or garage for your parents.

97. Mow the lawn or wash car for your parents.

98. Mentor a younger child.

99. Join a club or group.

100.Take cooking classes.

101.Visit a nursing home.

Anita Dick said...

Speaking of shortness, True story: A few years ago, after a good run at the blackjack tables and nine too many complementary virgin margaritas in Vegas, I decided to take a break and pay the exorbitant $20 one-time fee to use the Treasure Island gym/spa.

Upon completing a grueling cardio workout during which I burned at least 37 calories, I went to rest in the lounge of the men's locker room. I plopped down my sweaty eczema-laced butt on a plush couch, watched TV, and began to consume what would eventually add up to 2000 calories worth of complementary juices and pretzles.

In the middle of my hour-long cool-down, comedian Carrot Top, donned in one of the spa robes, walked past me to enter the men's sauna. At first, I was unsure it was actually him, but there was no confusing his pockmarked face and the aura of his C-list celebrity status. I also recalled that Carrot Top was scheduled to perform at the MGM Grand that weekend.

15 minutes and 3 bowls of pretzles later, I was still resting on the couch. Carrot Top came out of the sauna and walked by me again.

BUT THIS TIME, he was buck nekkid.

And yes, I saw Carrot Bottom.

This is a story that my grandchildren will certainly be telling their grandchildren. The carpet matched the drapes.