Thursday, March 17, 2005

A Limerick For St. Patrick's Day

There was once a dumb brute named Heff,
Who puffed til he had no breath left.
He gave up the smokes, but still takes some tokes,
So Hatch thinks Heff's groin has a cleft.


TheHeffer said...

Hatchie Doo doo doo,
Screw you blue
My cock was made for screwin'....

Hatchie Doo doo doo,
you've smoked too,
So shut was your ass is spewin' !

Alan said...

When composing poetry, it's always best to walk away for a few minutes then come back and proof read it. The last line makes no real sense.

TheHeffer said...

'spose to have typed "what" not "was". - Fucked up. Yours would have been better too if the last line said "So Hatch thinks Heff's groin NEEDS a cleft. Pobody's Nerfect, pal.

Alan said...

No, you missed the point of my choice in using the word "cleft". You most likely think I'm referring to kicking you in the nads, but it actually refers to me thinking you're a pussy for not quitting entirely. Actually it means both, since I'm going to bring a card with me when I come to Alabama again.

TheHeffer said...

Fine. Bring your card. Here's Heff's definition of Smoking - Someone that smokes on a regular basis, one or more cigarettes every day, etc.

Now let's take ANOTHER look at my post of 03/01/2005, shall we ? It stated : "It has come to the point in my life where I can no longer smoke ON A REGULAR BASIS and feel good.

It also stated : "If you see anything out of me more serious than a friendly, "Hey man, let me get a drag off of that" at a party, AIM FOR THE TWIG & BERRIES - RACK 'EM UP, AND HIT 'EM HARD.

I now treat cigarettes like a fine wine, or caviar - I'll have a smoke only on a Friday or Saturday (night only), and no more than 1 per hour. That way the MAX I could have in 1 day is about 5 cigarettes, and I'm not currently even doing that. OF COURSE, IF YOU SEE HEFF ABUSING CIGARETTES (CHAIN SMOKING, TAKING NOSTRIL SHOTS, ETC.) - SWING AWAY, HATCH...SWING AWAY.