Sunday, April 24, 2005

Less Hatch or Die

Big Bill has talked me into trying his diet plan. I was going to start tomorrow, but after getting on the scales today and having the wife take digital pictures of me topless from the front and the side, there's no time to waste. I'm not going to post them yet. They're way too scary. I'd lose half my readers in disgust.

Today I weight 318 pounds. That's pretty much the heaviest ever for me. It's almost all gut and chin. I'm not going to bore you all with details every day or D.B.A.N. charts. I do promise to admit when I don't stick to it and I hope that Big Bill will come bust my ass when that happens. I'm only about a 6 hour drive from Chicago. Heh.

Today I had eggs, sausage, and bacon at Cracker Barrel for lunch, along with a cup of black coffee and a glass of water. I'm basically going to do lower carbs and exercise as much as I can. I walked about 1.2 miles on the Greenway in Hermitage this afternoon while the wife and kid abandoned me for Kohl's. Then there was more walking at Publix shopping for groceries. Look for a weekly Sunday Weigh-In from now on. It should at least be as exciting as the Sunday Borning over on TOL.

11 comments:

TheHeffer said...

*uck a walk, Hatch. Your gonna have to jog ! Get serious, AND BRING BACK THE D.B.A.N. report with positive news !

Alan said...

I can't jog. It does no good to jog for one day then have to spend a week letting the shin splints and fallen arches recover by doing nothing. It's far better to burn a steady amount each day and stick to the diet. When 40 or 50 pounds have peeled off, then I can start thinking about jogging a little. If you saw my gut right now you wouldn't tell me to jog anyway. It's only slightly less big than Anita Dick's picture.

TheHeffer said...

That bad, huh ? Get to work !

Big Bill said...

Don't let The heff get in way of your progress Hatch. Start slow and stick to it! Get ready to say goodbye to the beefscarf around your neck..Sorry little ballbustin goin on..Hey tell Heff at least you can wake up in the morning slimmer, I doubt if he can wake up hairier........

TheHeffer said...

I'll have you know I wake up hairier EVERY DAY...just not on my head.

Anita Dick said...

What do you mean "only slightly less big than Anita's" ? Listen, Buster - I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN RIGHT NOW !!!

Paul said...

Good luck with the de-lardassification program. I've got my own going on (yes, with a long way to go), and I'm a firm believer in adding some weight-lifting to the mix. I hated life for the first coupla weeks, but I am feeling much better now. I've still got way too much gut, but at least now my back muscles can hold it up a little better, heh.

We're doing a low-carbish meat and veggies only diet approach, so we'll not be tempting you with "bad" food this weekend. Let's grill some steaks or something.

TheHeffer said...

Good luck Paul. I've been on a 3 day a week exercise plan of light weight lifting and jogging since Sept 04, and my metabolism says I can eat any damn thing I want. I truly feel for you guys. I'm not gunning for strength, as much as simply being in shape, and fairly cut. I'm getting pretty close now. When you can bench 300 without shitting yourself, I wanna see the video.

Paul said...

300lb bench press....hmmmmm...prolly by the end of the summer, but there is a certain wishful thinking factor there. Last Spring, before we found out we were pregnant, I could get 2 clean reps (and one with the spotter pulling it off me) with 275, but my attempts at 300# never quite got a clean rep off. That was after working out pretty regularly for about a year. 300lbs has always been a goal, and dammit, I'm going to make it this time.

I could bench 250 in my early 20's, but I quit lifting, and then didn't work out seriously again until about 5 years ago, and that time period had a lot of interruptions. Last year, when I had a pretty regular partner/spotter, I was doing better, because I was getting the "push it you pussy" boost with each set. Where I work out now, there is never a spotter available, so I'm building up a bit more slowly than I'd like.

TheHeffer said...

Good luck this summer, Paul. If you pull off 300 you're a bigger boned bastard than me. The most I've ever gotten off was 200 - but that's when Hatch was thinner, and bent over !

Bryan said...

Good luck, Hatch. The only side effect from following Bill's diet is that you develop the nasty habit of threatening people with bodily harm. If that doesn't motivate them properly, you just wait till they pass out and then satisfy your urge to pee on them. Good Luck.

p.s. Keep your bond card current.